Right dress


Brussels motor show was told to put more clothes on its girls. Last year, it seems, there was some lewd behavior by visitors, prompting Belgium's equal opportunities minister Joelle Milquet to address the organizers protesting about women in body-hugging outfits. “We have to question the stereotypes we are passing on to children and young adults." The organisers passed on the complaint, inviting carmakers to ensure appropriate dress. "We asked them to be responsible and sensible and we hope that everything will go well," a spokesman said. See GT Spirit.com, and below to confirm the result. Above right: Geneva 2008. Surprising what you find underneath wheel arches.

More weather

A Met Office crying wolf, flinging about yellow warnings like so many yellow cards, risks not being believed in emergencies. So obsessed with charges for not issuing cautions, forecasters now shower them like confetti. Averse to complaints by floodees or drivers who can’t tell it’s cold enough for ice, there is now a veritable rainbow of alerts, so that nobody can claim, “We didn’t know.” Five inches of snow were expected in Lincolnshire and hazardous conditions yesterday. We had a flurry or two but nothing to worry about.

Like the Ruritanian shepherd boy who liked to shout alarm, the Met Office should remember that when wolves do come, nobody pays attention and sheep perish.

Last year in Lincolnshire. We had real snow.

We have always been interested in weather but we haven’t always been scared of it. I blame attention-seeking climate-obsessives on television. “Gale Force Winds” sound more serious than “Gales”. Talk of “Blizzard” or “White-out” gains more attention than “snow”. Never mind the closures of airports with snowfalls their Canadian counterparts would laugh off, or frozen points paralysing railways, forecasters are terrified of writs, real or imagined, from compensation seekers.

As with the unfortunate Italian earthquake scientists, now serving six years for manslaughter after failing to predict the tremor at L’Aquila when 309 people died, there is little sense in it. Samuel Croxall (c.1690 - 1752) Anglican churchman, writer and translator noted for his edition of Aesop’s Fables, summed it up with a question on political alarmism, of which we should be as much aware in our time as he was in his: "When alarmed with imaginary dangers in respect of the public, till the cry grows quite stale and threadbare, how can it be expected we should know when to guard ourselves against real ones?"

Global Warming ends

Don’t mention global warming. Family taboo. Yet the blogosphere buzzes with its obituary. The matchless Christopher Booker on Sunday drew attention to, “The graph the Met Office didn’t want you to see… Last week it didn’t take long for the bush fires set off by Australia’s ‘hottest summer ever’ to be blamed on runaway global warming. Less attention was given to heavy snow in Jerusalem (worst for 20 years) or the abnormal cold bringing death and destruction to China (worst for 30 years), northern India (coldest for 77 years) and Alaska, with average temperatures down in the past decade by more than a degree. But another story, which did attract coverage across the world, was the latest in a seemingly endless series of embarrassments for the UK Met Office.”

The Met Office chose Christmas Eve to revise the graph posted a year ago showing its prediction of global temperatures, hoping nobody would notice. Climate bloggers soon saw how different it was. It was picked up by the Global Warming Policy Foundation and while the Met Office’s allies, “such as the BBC’s old warmist warhorses Roger Harrabin and David Shukman, were soon trying to downplay the story, claiming that the forecast had only been revised by ‘a fifth’, and that even if the temperature rise had temporarily stalled, due to ‘natural factors’, the underlying warming trend would soon reappear.”
In 2011 the Met Office’s computer model prediction showed temperatures soaring to a level 0.8 degrees higher than their average between 1971 and 2000, far higher than the previous record in 1998. The new graph shows the lack of significant warming for the past 15 years is likely to continue. “Apart from how this was obscured by the BBC, there are several reasons why this is of wider significance for the rest of us.”
The Met Office has promoted the worldwide scare over global warming. Its computer models, “through its alliance with the Climatic Research Unit at the University of East Anglia (centre of the Climategate emails scandal), have been accorded unique prestige by the UN’s Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, ever since the global-warming-obsessed John Houghton, then head of the Met Office, played a key part in setting up the IPCC in 1988.”
It was not going to abandon easily its belief that the main force shaping climate was the rise in CO2. Yet as I have pointed out before, its chief scientist, Julia Slingo, admitted to MPs in 2010, its short-term forecasts are based on the same ‘numerical models’ as ‘we use for our climate prediction work’, and these have been predicting ‘hotter, drier summers’ and ‘warmer winters’. The result was the fiascos that made the Met Office a laughing stock, from the ‘barbecue summer’ that never was in 2008, to the ‘warmer than average winter’ of 2010 that brought us our coldest-ever December, to its prediction last spring that April, May and June 2012 would probably be ‘drier than average’, just before we enjoyed the wettest April and summer on record.
Mr Booker has been joined by active blogger James Delingpole’s announcement that The New York Times has closed its Environment Desk. “Rumours that the entire environment team, headed by Andy Revkin, have volunteered to be recycled into compost and spread on the lawn of the new billion dollar home Al Gore bought with the proceeds of his sale of Current TV to Middle Eastern oil interests are as yet unconfirmed. What we do know is that it's very, very sad and that all over the Arctic baby polar bears are weeping bitter tears of regret.”
There family. I’ve mentioned Global Warming but I think I got away with it.

Volkswagen Golf


Road testers are sensitive souls. Driving the new Golf I was struck with how refined it was. The 1.4 petrol engine was next to inaudible, wind noise subdued, the new MQB platform, I decided, superbly engineered and of a quality to match VW’s reputation. It was only when I got into a 2 litre diesel - same morning, same roads, but almost at once it went b-r-r-r-r-p. The body drummed. On smooth bits of road it went Ph-o-o-o-o-h but on every patch and joint it thrummed and strummed. It rocked a bit on potholes and tilted on cambers. Tyres, I decided. Why do they put press test cars on low-profiles? Maybe the Golf is quite ordinary after all.

I was being pernickety. Princesses and peas come to mind. Besides the 7J rims and 225/45 R17 tyres, the 2 litre had sports suspension, lowering it by 10mm. The 1.4 on the other hand had perfectly sensible 6½J rims and 205/55 R16 tyres, making it is a model of a modern middle-sized saloon, well balanced and exemplary. No wonder it is Europe’s best seller. At £19,645 my money would be on the petrol 1.4, not the £24,880 diesel, despite being short of some 28PS. There is scant difference in performance (0.7sec to 62mph), none in CO2 emissions and you would be only 9mpg better off. It would need to do a lot of miles to make up £5235.

This is the diesel with the silly tyres.

The Golf has been restyled but not too much. It still looks a bit anonymous but a lot of buyers like that. They don’t want to make a statement. They are conservative, content for neighbours not to notice a new car. Best way to assess a car – assess the buyers.

VW has been clever about weight. Ever since I can remember new cars have put on middle aged spread. Customers always go for de luxe versions, so “improvements” never stop. Legislation and safety features always add bulk and throughout 38 years, 29million cars, and seven generations the Golf grew from 370cm (146in) long and 750kg (1650lb), to 450cm (177in) and 1140kg (2508lb).

At 425cm (167in) the new one is 5.6cm longer than the last (sixth) Golf but VW has saved 100kg (220lb), which brings it back to about the weight of the fourth or fifth generation. The wheelbase has been stretched and the body widened, so there is more room inside, the hatchback is bigger and there is more luggage space. It’s clever the way weight has been reduced; the structure is 37kg lighter, engines 40kg, running gear 26kg and even the electrical system weighs 6kg less. Aluminium engine blocks make a big saving.


Materials are used sparingly. Sheet metal thickness varies within one item. The rolling mill of the steel supplier makes what they call a tailor rolled blank, a sheet strip with variable thicknesses. Delivered to the hot-forming factory it has 11 areas each of a different thickness, with transitions between them so uniform there are no abrupt changes in strength. The saving is just 4 kg in one cross-member. Simples! As Sergei would say.
Here is what I wrote about another Golf 23 years ago, in The Sunday Times of 28 January 1990, the Umwelt Diesel

If cars of the Twenty-first Century are as good as the Volkswagen Golf with the Umwelt Diesel, giving up petrol engines will not be so bad. This is no sprinter, but it is lively enough and like policemen did in less frenzied times, proceeds in a measured way, which is faster than it looks.
The significance of the Umwelt (for Environmental) diesel engine is that it is the world's cleanest liquid-fuel combustion engine. Cleaner than any petrol engine the exhaust does not even have the characteristic diesel smell. VW has equipped it with a turbocharger, not so much to gain power, as pump 40 per cent more air in to make the combustion process more complete.
The result halves particulates to bring them well within strict American standards, and also banishes the discharge of highly suspect polycyclic aromatic hydrocarbons by means of a simple oxidation catalyst.
Still recognisable as a Golf. This is Golf III. Clever VW.
The engine still has some strong diesel mannerisms. There remains a few seconds' pause between turning the key and starting up. The seat belt can be put on in the time it takes for the pre-heater indicator light to go out. And when the engine does start, it is accompanied by the orthodox diesel-taxi clatter, although not for long. Once under way, the noise is inaudible from inside the car and not obtrusive from outside.
The engine also has a low rev limit. Around 4,500 rpm on the tachometer - if this model had one - the power tails off and the car will accelerate no more. Diesel engines need a heavy flywheel to turn them over from one high-compression stroke to the next, so they do not spin quickly up to speed.
Racing engines are given a light flywheel to achieve the opposite effect - to run up to maximum revs almost the instant the throttle is opened. The corollary is that racing engines tend to be harsh and vibrant, while the Umwelt is smooth and constant, achieving its useful turn of speed with a cultured hum.
VW does not even put a D label on the back of the Umwelt Golf, to distinguish it perhaps from the smoky smelly diesels of old. However like former diesels, it still does not exactly dash up gradients, but reaches 100mph, and cruises serenely for a price of £9,739.93. It is a plain five-door Golf with no frills, not even central locking or electric windows. It is almost an industry cliché that diesel engines are installed in basic models on the grounds, it would seem, that diesel drivers are so consumed with ideas of economy that they are unlikely to pay for frills, even cheap ones.
VW's motives in producing the Umwelt may not have been entirely altruistic. Diesel sales in Germany over the past two years have dropped by a third, but the new cleaner engines being produced by VW and Daimler-Benz can be expected to reverse the trend in Germany, and increase the demand in Europe as a whole, the world's main market for diesel-engined cars.



Coalition car


Dual Controls on a Ford Prefect. Just the car for coalition partners. All they would need to agree on is what gear to be in. The Prefect only had three, with synchromesh on second and third. Steering left or right would depend on who was stronger. Easier if you wanted to keep to the middle ground. Designed for driving tuition, this car pre-dated David William Donald Cameron and Nicholas Peter William Clegg by some 18 years.

1945 Prefect E93A (from: The Ford in Britain Centenary File, £27.50 Dove Publishing, 2011)

Dagenham’s millionth car was an E93A Prefect. The rounded grille and so-called “alligator” front-opening bonnet lent it a vaguely exotic air when it was relaunched only as a 4-door. Tourers were unwanted interruptions to the serious business of resuming car production. With rationing still in force economy was important, even though low-quality Pool petrol was only 2 shillings (10p) a gallon, but Purchase Tax at 33.3 per cent raised car prices against those of 1939. An annual road tax based on cubic capacity had been proposed but it was not invoked until 1946. The distorted market reversed the pre-war position in which Anglia outsold Prefect. Now the 10HP car outsold the 8 by almost two to one, although both were virtually unchanged from 1939. The Prefect had a bigger dynamo, and the seats tubular frames, which were not only cheaper to make but also more comfortable. There were minor differences in trim and colour but by 1948 The Autocar was finding the Prefect noisy and the handling indifferent. There was body roll on corners and a lot of pitching. “The system of suspension,” it observed icily, “gives comfortable riding in the sense that it takes the shock out of poor surfaces, and allows the car to be driven over really bad surfaces, without causing one to feel it is being done any harm.” Post-war designs were appearing with unitary construction and independent front suspension. Even in a buyer’s market customers were becoming choosy.

Outpost of Empire. E93A Prefect overseas.


INTRODUCTION October 1938, production to January 1949.
BODY saloon; 4-doors, 4-seats; weight 15.7cwt (797.6kg) (1758lb).
ENGINE 4-cylinders, in-line; front; 63.5mm x 92.5mm, 1172cc; compr 6.6 x:1; 30bhp (22.4kW) @ 4000 rpm; 25.6bhp (19.1kW)/l; 97.8lbft (132.6Nm) @ 2400rpm.
ENGINE STRUCTURE side valve; gear-driven camshaft; cast iron detachable cylinder head and block; aluminium pistons; Zenith downdraught carburettor; coil ignition, and mechanical fuel pump; 3-bearing counterbalanced crankshaft;
thermo-syphon cooling; splash and pressure lubrication.
TRANSMISSION rear wheel drive; 7.375in (18.73cm) sdp clutch; 3-speed manual gearbox, synchromesh on 2; torque tube; spiral bevel final drive 5.5:1.
CHASSIS pressed steel channel-section frame with three crossmembers
and lowered central box-section; suspension, transverse leaf springs
front and rear with triangulated radius arms; pear-shaped Luvax dampers;
rod actuated 10in (25.4cm) drum brakes; Burman worm and nut steering; 7 gal (31.8l) fuel tank; 5.00-16 tyres; steel spoke welded wheels.
DIMENSIONS wheelbase 94in (238.8cm); track 45in (114.3cm); length 155.5in (395cm); width 57in (144.8cm); height 63in (160cm); ground clearance 8.75in (22.2cm); turning circle 36ft (10.97m).
EQUIPMENT 6 volt electrical system; fixed-rate charging; 10amps at 30mph; rear window blind; cloth upholstery, leather trim £7 13s 4d (£7.67p).
PERFORMANCE maximum speed 59.7mph (95.8kph) The Motor; 0-50mph (80.3kph) 26.9sec; 26.6kg/bhp (35.6kg/kW); fuel consumption 33.8mpg (8.35l/100km).
PRICE 4-door £275 plus PT £77 2s 9d, £352 2s 9d (£352.77p).
PRODUCTION 1938-1949 120,505 including 1028 tourers, 667 coupes. 10,163 Tudors, 37,502CKD.

1949 Prefect E493A

Good drivers


Aptitudes run in families. Ours was driving. Passing driving tests first time was obligatory. The requisite gene, I am sure, was my mother's. She rode motorcycles in the war. Father wasn’t very good, but my eldest brother had whatever visual acuity or sense of balance that makes a natural driver. He never lost the keen spatial awareness and skill he showed in a rally car. Or a Challenger tank I put him into in his 70s. Son Craig shows the same sort of natural talent, masterminding yachts at Cowes or in Atlantic races. Daughter Joanna showed it as a teenager on horses. Daughter Charlotte? Well, she kept her head tumbling out of aeroplanes, much as eldest brother did a generation ago.

The gene is on show again. Teddy is only four but, just as you can tell racing drivers with natural class within four laps, he took to driving as naturally as walking. Mercedes-Benz put him in an electric at Brooklands last Friday. Before setting off the kindly man-in-charge asked him what would happen if another child’s car got in his way. Teddy’s appraisal of the danger was instant. “We’d crash.” He observed.

He didn’t crash. Kind man showed him the reverse switch only once and he backed up, counter-steering, as though he’s been doing it all his life. He leaned into corners, obeyed the traffic light and was totally unafraid. His great-grand-mama would have been so proud. But she’d be completely unsurprised. It was as natural as riding a motorcycle.

I started driving seriously aged about 12. All my family did, and I have long been convinced that the foundations of a long and safe career at the wheel are laid long before you are 17. Great credit then, to Mercedes-Benz for giving 118,000 under 16s their first drive at Mercedes-Benz World. These young people have driven around a million miles since the scheme was launched in 2007. The only requirement is to be tall enough to reach the pedals of an A-class. There is guidance from professional driving coaches in 30-minute or one-hour Driving Experiences, which extend to dynamic handling and skid management.

The youngest under-16 to drive at Mercedes-Benz World was a tall-ish seven year old. What a great use for the historic Brooklands track.

Dear Teddy. You could be behind the wheel again inside three or four years.

There was, of course, some serious road-testing to be done. Above is the S600L in Magnetite black metallic with Passion Sahara Biege and black leather. It was, not unexpectedly, superbly smooth and quiet and worth £137,810 (with all the accessories) of anybody’s money. The girls Joanna (Teddy’s mother) on the left and Charlotte were collected from school in press test cars so took in their stride the Bang & Olufsen rear seat entertainment package, Beosound AMG sound surround system with 15 speakers and covers in aluminium and illuminated tweeters. Below is another picture of them I took earlier, with another test car. Charlotte on left this time, Joanna right.